beautyIt’s a naturally occurring desire our culture has endlessly obsessed, idolised and twisted. Unlike most of the other desirable human characteristics such as trust, respect, compassion, empathy and love It’s something we have found a way to monetize with such power and force it has generated billions of dollars profit and also left billions of ‘normal’ people in psychological ruins after feeling ‘inadequate & not quite good enough’. But what if we were to look at the side of physical beauty the media, cosmetics companies, fashion magazines, and clothing companies fail to mention?

Envy & Intimidation
When a beautiful girl enters the room what are the first thoughts that come to your mind? If you’re a man, it might be along the sexual mind pattern. If you’re a woman, it might be along the jealous side of things. Many men may only see the beautiful woman as a potential sexual partner, this will cause the men to frequently show their ‘feathers’ by chatting, charming, flirting, dancing and inviting the other to enjoy his motivating subconscious forces of ‘I want to take you to bed with me’. If the mind is sexually excited we quite quickly throw any reasonable let’s just be ‘friends’ reasoning out the window.

As for the women, another beautiful woman entering a new social circle can often be perceived as a threat. For example a new job position might be affected negatively if the woman hiring the new employee feels that this new woman might be competition around the office. Both of these first impressions can act as barriers for authentic social connection as they are visible cues for hardwired pre-judgments.

Unwanted sexual attention
Sexual attention isn’t always good attention. Imagine a beautiful woman is in a good relationship with a good partner but whenever they go out into public the ‘flies come out’. Horny drunken mobs of men can lineup following beautiful girls around with sleazy late night questions and possible harassments. It’s almost as if going to a club is like going to a late night kung-fu battle.

Constant external attention can create feelings of doubt within the relationship. Am I handsome enough to be with this woman? Can I trust this woman to be alone? Letting the beautiful partner go out into clubs by herself can become a mental tax. This constant barrage of attempts from the flies can create jealousy, doubt and unease between otherwise stable relationships.

Insecurity issues
“Am I in this relationship because he loves me for me or am I a trophy he loves to have sex with and show his friends?” Whether it’s true or not is another story but these thoughts can easily plant themselves in the minds of beautiful people. Having a partner based purely on visual beauty is not an uncommon thing. The more beautiful we are, the greater the chances of the opposite sex loving our external appearance more than our true selves. This can make it incredibly difficult to determine if the other person is interested in us personally or us physically.

Blinded by the lights
In their youth the beautiful person might receive all sorts of flashy benefits, men will happily spend money and endless attention on them trying to persuade the woman he is a worthy sexual partner. This is great for the ego but over the years they can start to identify themselves personally with being ‘beautiful’ and might even start to expect this attention from others. This might work for them in life until the inevitable change in age and physical appearance comes.

Many beautiful people can have psychological identity crisis when ‘who they are’ changes. The world no longer notices them like it used to. It might take many more years of denial to realize that society doesn’t have much of an interest in people who ‘used to be physically beautiful’. They had been blinded by the short-term physical beauty lights.

When we discuss the concept of beauty it’s easy to assume it’s a life everyone dreams of, but of course every company with a financial interest in selling beauty related products wants us to think it’s some sort of glorified life. Yes there are numerous benefits to being physically attractive but we must also remember the dark side of physical beauty, the pre-judgements society makes, the fact that we get older, how blinding the attention can be and the psychological difficulties that can be involved in this external obsession.

By Pete, Inspiralight